Trigger ⚠️ This reflection briefly mentions alcohol, drinking behavior, and emotional growth following a complicated family moment. Please read with care and pause if needed. 💖
Me Before You and After
📝 A reflection written the morning after.
Yesterday, I drank.
Not recklessly. Not to disappear.
Just enough to feel a quiet buzz. Just enough to cook a good meal.
I made bacon and eggs and I finally perfected over-easy eggs at the age of 27 (haha)
The yolk broke right onto the toast like it knew it was safe to be soft.
I watched a movie called Me Before You.
And I saw myself in Louisa Clark
In how she talks too much when she’s nervous.
In how deeply she feels things even when it’s inconvenient or too much for others.
In how she stays, even when it’s hard.
And in how love doesn’t always end with a kiss or a promise.
Sometimes it ends with silence. With space.
With “You make me happy, even when you’re awful.”
Then a family member came into my room, drunk.
He insisted we take a shot of vodka.
I didn’t want to - but I did, just once. No spiral. No escape hatch.
Just a warm moment, then back to my movie. Back to myself.
This is growth.
It didn’t look like fireworks.
It looked like saying no once, and yes with limits.
It looked like letting a buzz pass instead of chasing it.
It looked like a soft movie night and waking up early with no regrets.
Lesson I’m taking with me:
You can miss people and still be whole.
You can drink without drowning.
You can feel everything and still stay grounded.
You can be soft and steady — even after chaos.
You can be Louisa Clark… and still live your way forward.