ð Content Note:
This post includes reflections on casual alcohol use, blackout drinking, and personal relationship to substance use. It’s written with humour, honesty, and self-awareness — but if you’re in recovery, navigating sobriety, or sensitive to these topics, please take care while reading.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it louder:
Drinking isn’t black and white.
Not for me, anyway.
Sometimes I drink. Sometimes I don’t.
One time I blacked out at 8 p.m. and went to buy pizza with zero memory of the visit (true story — the staff said I was a pleasure to be around, bless them).
Sometimes I have one drink and go straight to bed like a tired little grandma.
That’s also real.
Sometimes I day drink because I get too tired at night.
Sometimes I drink because I’m bored, or I want to feel something new, or because it’s the only time I get to bring out Patricia — my not-so-sober, confident, wild little alter ego.
Sometimes I want to connect with others and drinking has to becomes part it. That's okay.
Sometimes I don't drink at all - not because I'm being "good" but because I genuinely don't feel like it.
She doesn’t always come out, but when she does, she’s a good time. (For a few hours at least… then the hangover hits like karma HAHA)
Drinking helps me let loose once in a while. Not always. Just sometimes.
And no, I don’t count sober days. I never have.
Not because I’m avoiding anything — but because for me, it’s never been about the number of days.
I don’t treat drinking like a milestone or a relapse or a virtue. It’s not a big deal in my own world — it’s just something I sometimes do, and sometimes don’t.
But the hangovers? They are a whole other beast. (Respectfully, 0/10. Would not recommend. Always have Orange Crush pop in the fridge for the next day)
Drinking, for me, isn’t rooted in addiction.
Most times it's just for fun.
It wasn’t modeled by my parents when I was a kid.
It came later — slowly, messily, through experience.
And now it shows up in my life depending on the day, the season, the company, or the mood.
If you’re reading this and relating, cool.
If you’re confused because you thought I was “anti-drinking” based on my past blogs — well, welcome to nuance.
I’m not writing this as a warning or a confession.
I’m writing it because it’s true for me.
And because I think more of us deserve the space to say:
Hey, my relationship to drinking is complicated. It shifts. I’m still learning. And that’s okay.
So no, this blog isn’t a cry for help.
It’s an invitation to reflect and maybe laugh — especially if you’ve ever woken up and had to ask the Northern staff if you embarrassed yourself buying frozen pizza while blacked out.
(They said I was sweet and polite, by the way! 5 stars.)
Cheers ðĨðĪŠ
— Annie